Myth 1: If a woman has
her partner, the Doula becomes redundant.
The Doula may be the only person at the labor besides the partner
who is there solely for the emotional well-being of the woman. The
nurse, the doctor, the midwife have other priorities that compete
with the emotional care of the woman: for example, breaks, shift
changes, clinical responsibilities, office hours and hospital
policies. The Doula has few or no other priorities. She stays
through shift changes, and until after the baby is born She is not
just another stranger with the couple She has the woman's needs as
her sole priority. In some cases, the couple will bring several
other friends or family members into labor with them. Sometimes
these people can be uncertain of how to help which leads to
confusion and actually adds to the woman's stress. The Doula can
direct and coordinate the efforts of a group of people, giving
them all something useful to do, so they work as a team on the
woman's behalf.
Myth 2: The Doula "takes over",
displacing the partner and interferes with their intimate
experience.
The Doula can actually bring the couple closer. By
making sure that the partner's needs are met (food, drink,
occasional back rubs, and reassurance), the woman and partner can
work more closely together. The Doula allows for the partner to
participate at his own comfort level. Some partners prefer to be
there only to witness the birth of their child and to share this
experience with the woman they love. They may not want to play an
active role and do not want to be responsible for the woman's
comfort and emotional security. The Doula can fill in and allow
the partner to participate as he wishes, without leaving the
woman's needs unmet. When the partner chooses to be the major
source of emotional support, the Doula can supplement his or her
efforts by running errands, making suggestions for comfort
measures, and offering words of reassurance and comfort. During a
long tiring labor, she can give the partner a break for a brief
rest or change of scene.
While the Doula probably knows more than the partner about birth,
hospitals, and maternity care, the partner knows more about the
woman's personality, likes and dislikes, and needs. Moreover, he/she
loves the woman more than anyone else there. The combined
contributions of partner and Doula, along with a competent,
considerate and caring staff gives the woman the best chance of an
optimal outcome.
Myth 3: The Doula has her own beliefs about how the birth
should go, and imposes it on the woman or couple.
The Doula's true agenda is to help ensure that the
woman's or couple's agenda is acknowledged and followed as much as
possible. If the Doula is thoroughly familiar with the couple's
wishes and their birth plan, she may actually think more about it
than the couple, especially when labor is intense and things are
happening rapidly. The Doula can remind the staff or the couple of
some items on the birth plan that are forgotten, but which later
might be important. Sometimes if a birth plan is not followed, the
couple later look back with regret or disappointment.
The Doula helps with decision-making by asking questions that will
ensure that the right information is given to the woman or couple
so that they can make an informed decision. She may also suggest
alternatives for the couple to consider. She does not, however,
make decisions for the couple.
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In summary, studies have shown that
fathers usually participate more actively during labor in the
presence of a Doula than without one. A responsible Doula supports
and encourages the father and enhances his support style rather
than replaces him. |
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